I need prayer

After spending some time in the prayer room at my church, I've learned a lot of things about myself and my relationship with God.


I've felt a mixture of emotions while really looking into who I am within my God. Shame, regret, selfish, etc. But I've also felt some very different emotions. Happiness, Love, freedom, etc. Well, they're not all emotions, but you get the picture! I've looked at who I've been over the past year or so, and how well I have given my time and love to God. I don't like what I've seen for the most part. BUT, compared to the year or so before that, I can definitely see an improvement. I've tried hard to cleanse myself of certain worldly desires, and I've been successful in some, not so much in others. Thats being human though. Messing up time and time again, but always finding shelter and forgiveness within the arms of Our Savior. So the past week, I've been making some life changes that will hopefully strengthen my frail relationship with God.


First off, releasing my anger I have for my brother. I've been so angry with him for so long, for various things, I don't even remember a time where I felt nothing but love for him. That's really sad, and my anger turns me into a person I NEVER wanted to be. So over the next few months, I'm really going to try to let that anger go, and to try and let my attitude reflect that of Christ. Anger can be all consuming, and can be blinding. Don't let that happen to you.


Second off,  letting God show me what he wants with my relationship with my boyfriend. I've been ignoring him for too long about what he wants. Any relationship you have should reflect how good your relationship is with Christ. So I'm really going to try. And I know he is too. Thats not saying the past four months have been evil or anything. They haven't. I'm happy to say so far, we've stayed away from temptations. The problem is, we haven't really talked too much about what is going on with our relationships with God. And a relationship without God will fall apart. So were just going to try to implement God more into our lives. I'm excited to see what happens.


Third off, college. I stress so much about what will happen when I go to college. BUT, it's time for me to just take a breath, and let God take care of the rest. Just because I go to college doesn't mean I have to start partying, missing church, having sex, etc. I will NOT be like every other college kid. Yeah, I might mess up. But I will not let things like that define my life at A&M. Simple at that.


These are just a few things running through my mind right now. I know God has so much for me, and I'm so excited to see what all he has in store. It's time to stop living my life for me, and start living my life for God.


Meagan <3